Stabbed For Masturbating By Wife

n-MASTURBATION-large570Not To Scale

The title of this post is accurate, it did happen just as it sounds, not a click-me-link! I’ll set the scene, because I know what you are thinking already; bull shit! Well I tend to end up with girls who don’t want to sleep with me, no matter what,  2002 while married to my first wife I tried to get sex on my usual once a quarter frequency and was of course denied. This was pretty much par for course.

If You Can’t Join Her, Beat It

Usually I would just wait until she was out of the house and get to work on myself but I couldn’t take it any more. Before dinner I jumped in the shower, squeezed out some conditioner and started to take myself for a spin. You guessed it, a short time after that I was busted totally. It is too bad men can’t hide their damn excitement!

Her first reaction? Open the shower door, yell at me for about 5 mins, walk out slamming the door. Fine, I can handle that, got use to that from her already! Worst thing so far was just the fact that I couldn’t finish the job in the shower, kind of over it at that point so I dried off and got dressed.

Silent But Deadly

I prepared myself mentally for what was about to happen, she’d either yell or say nothing at all for the next couple of days, tell her entire family what a freak and pervert I am(yeah she was VERY religious), and then things would relax from DEFCON 3 and return up to DEFCON 5 and then just get back to how shitty it usually was, right? Nope.

First not a word. Nothing. Just sat down at the table, she was already eating. Steak and beans, so I started eating. We both finished dinner, not a word still. I wasn’t really paying much attention I have to admit, just kind of sitting there feeling sorry for myself, what was the next thing I noticed? DEFCON 1; her steak knife buried into my hand, to the bone, between the index and middle finger knuckles.

I Said Doctor, Is There Nothing I Can Take

Ow shit! Is about as best as I can describe it. After that she jumped in the car drove to and spent the next few days at her parents house. I had no way to the Dr and too far from the hospital, but that is fine, I’m a country boy and the city has plenty to offer. I walked down to the liquer shop and bought a bottle of Vodka, bloody hand in tow and got more than a few looks, had a few swigs on my way home. Irrigated the wound, grabbed a couple of pens to keep fingers from bending and taped it all together.

No permanent damage of any kind, to my hand, I think I ended up with some decent mental scarring from the event however! I kind of get that this was a pretty big over reaction to catching your man with his snake in his hands girls, what would your reaction be to the same thing? 🙂

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  1. #1 by simplysurrealblog on September 9, 2014 - 11:49 pm

    Omg, that is not a rational woman. Good grief, I hope you’re not still with her. Honestly, I would have filed for battery charges, ultimate revenge is having that on her record. No rational person would stab another unless out of self defense.

    Liked by 1 person

    • #2 by loveworldproblems on September 10, 2014 - 12:39 am

      You are right, I should have! I guess it is a little bit like the frog in the cold water, turn it up and he will stay there even as it boils!

      No I am no longer married to her, left years ago on valentines day! The only mean thing I have ever done 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

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