My New Online Dating Pofile

20140906050022!Tinder_logo

 

Tinder has nearly killed Online Dating. For a number of reasons, but the biggest reason being that everyone now uses that pretty much. First and foremost I am an ugly bastard and that being the case I can’t use tinder as such, so I don’t like it and won’t try it. Yet. I also think it can make my issues worse if I don’t start using it at the right time. Some of you know me a bit, self admittedly my confidence is pretty low and I’m made out of glass. I could start chatting to anyone for any number of reasons, just when things are going great bam, never hear from the person again. Without knowing why or understanding, I’m left with one simple choice and that is to blame myself. So in another year or two it might be possible to jump into tinder or the next best thing, but I need to look better and maybe even literally pay someone to be honest with me for a change about a few questions I have about myself.

Anyway, that isn’t going to stop me at having a little fun on behalf of Tinder though.

Here is the next template I’ve created for my Online Dating profiles, you might recognize the theme pretty easily…

 

Help me Obi-wan XXX, you’re my only hope…

It is a dark time for dating.
Although the MySpace has
been destroyed, Professional
Swipers have driven the
Decent people from their
sites and pursued them across
the Internets.

Evading the dreaded Swiper
Fingerfleet, a group of freedom
fighters led by Date Awesomer
has established a new secret
base on the remote site
of XXX.

The evil lord Lefty Righty,
obsessed with finding young
Awesomer, has dispatched
thousands of fingers to the
far reaches of the Internets…

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