Archive for category Desire
After lurking for a bit on SA I’ve gone Premium, my first 24 hours in it have been… Interesting. So, I ponder this in my mind and write here now listening to some old music. Feeling nostalgic tonight.
It is odd. SA has already given me more contact with people in the first day than most other sites do in a week. Granted, the reason for this is probably myself and not the other sites. I don’t ever show my picture up front, only private and I’m going to guess 10 out of 10 women are going to find that a red flag straight away. Take note of the meme above though, it is quite accurate when speaking of just outing my pic first. Maybe I should though, it feels a lot worse after I get someone talking for 15 mins or so, show the pic, and all of a sudden; blocked. lol. Kobayashi maru.
I had logged into the site and re-created my profile. For some reason the old one got banned, kind of shitty but whatever. While I was getting that set back up and looking for the woman(who Favorited and sent me a message on the other profile, I got a message! I don’t know about other men, but this is kind of awesome because usually I have to work quite hard to get replies. Let alone someone to send me a message on their own.
1. The Teacher
This is the lovely woman who fav’d me and sent the message(that I couldn’t read due to the ban when I tried to sign up and pay). This was the first girl I noticed and profile that I read, it is nearly perfect for what I believe I would look to get out of SA. Her long term interests mesh well with my new health and fitness kick and everything else she expressed in the profile was %100 in line with me. I finished my message to her before responding to the other message I had. Gotta dance with the one that brought ya! I got a reply back from her as well which I was over the moon with. That is it so far, I’m really hanging for the next message to come back to me!
2. The Rocket
Rocket is the one who sent me a message about 15 mins into joining haha. It was plain and simple – thought your profile was interesting, may I see a photo. To my surprise she didn’t disappear after seeing them. That twatty action was taken against me about %75 of the time on every other site. I don’t think I’m exactly what she is after though, she seems to have an over abundance of energy and I think she is looking for the same in return. I can’t force enthusiasm out of my pores about everything on this planet, it is too messed up to pretend lol.
We discussed a few things, she has had two arrangements before. One for a few months and the second for only four weeks, she discovered he was married and she bolted. So I sent her an image of that “Aint Got Time Fo Dat” meme. Wellllll turns out, something weird happened and the link took her to a blog, about someone getting stabbed. Just what you want to fucking send a nice young woman on the internet haha, so so fail. Well, she did still talk to me after that and we had a laugh about it. Conversation has since stalled though.
3. The Shark
I am pretty sure this nice young woman is old skool over on SA. What she certainly is, is very very pretty. She contacted me with a simple – hey how are you. I replied and this time I offered straight away to see my pictures to which she accepted. Then still talked to me, and asked straight away what I was looking to give and receive. I explained what I was after as best as I could, but I get the feeling that since she wasn’t attracted to me she moved into full on “if you want me to be seen in pubic with you’re going to pay for it” mode haha. Can’t blame her really!
Turns out, if I wanted to take the Shark out to an event and dinner, she would have to take the night off in which she explained she made on average $750 a night and in turn I’d need to cover that loss each time. I didn’t counter by asking her, well what about during the day… Even though I was thinking about it in my head. I will have to think about this one a bit more though.
4. The PT
This is great, a PT contacted me! This would be really cool to develop on many levels. Asked for photos, I sent them back with a small introduction. This is where SA shines for me, you can tell if someone read your message or not, she hasn’t read it yet. This stops me from thinking at least she saw the pics and ran away screaming 🙂 One issue, while her profile does mention things like low maintenance her expectation is set for High. To me that does seem a bit contradictory, but what do I know yet really! That leads me to believe I wouldn’t be able to provide a comfortable arrangement with her, but I suppose we will see.
Spidergirl seems very cool, her profile too has all of the key words in it for me to take notice and with a lot of strength. After sending the pics she asked for she asked why I was on this site. Again I tried to do the impossible and unravel my thoughts into text about why I was on SA. I don’t just copy and paste, I am sure a lot might. She said that we would get along fine, and that her profile turns away a lot of people. I am not sure why it did, it is what attracted me to her more 🙂 She is gone for now but left it quite open, I will follow up with her for sure.
So there you have it, more interaction with women off SA in a day than off any site I’ve tried before over a damn week and I haven’t had a chance to run any searches or send any messages out myself! It is a different place, it is full throttle, if I can find a way to keep myself from sinking and swim I think that SA will provide me a wealth of experience in interacting with women.
Sometimes the universe is incredibly kind to you. Or is it? What if the universe gives you a great opportunity but not the skills to deal with such an occurrence? Seemingly and even in my opinion it wouldn’t really be the universe’s fault since all the skills you have are learned directly from it, good or bad, so then it would come down to the individual. Hence; the Universe can be kind and I can FAIL.
We just had a big staff briefing at the office. There were around 120 people there and it was a pretty sung fit for all of us. I stood on the side of the room half way up to the presenters with the group of people I work with daily. Then for some reason the Receptionist comes around, talks to a few people before the presentation and then comes to stand next to me when it starts…
I’ve had mixed feelings about her for a while now, you know it doesn’t really feel great when there is someone you like and you’re positive they can’t or wouldn’t reciprocate those feelings. One thing is the same though because when she stood next to me I was like a leaf in the wind… When she looks at me, I disconnect from the world around me. Heart rate up, body temp up, self consciousness through the roof. Kind of feel like I’m in middle school again standing next to my first crush, it is so very embarrassing!
There wasn’t much interaction between us, some, could have been more if I had half a testicle to be my usual fun, witty, and playful self around her. But yeah, the FAIL runs strong in this one! Wan’t another example? Sure. A few times she got a bit close, I’m not sure why because it wasn’t quite that packed in there, but our arms touched a few times and I always immediately freaked out each time and gave her more space. The last time it happened, I didn’t pull away, so for about 5 mins I felt her energy(in heat form cos I didn’t have any crystals ya’know) which was probably the highlight of my week.
I know what you’re thinking trust me, thinking it myself. Grow a pair! Here is a cup of concrete to harden up! Haha, well, I suppose it all starts at home. I’m working on myself and my own confidence first. When I feel I have something to offer a beautiful person like the Receptionist, I will feel a bit more comfortable interacting with that person.
Yup, another Christmas party tossed by an employer. Time to go buy some new clothes and pretend to be happy wasting another Friday with people I’ve got to fight every day just to get the most mundane shit done. Awesome! But if I don’t write about this, I still have nothing to write about!
I bought some new clothes which is always a bad idea because I don’t know how to dress myself and am very fashion deaf. But I did it anyway, wasn’t bad, I’ve gone down from a 38 to a 34 now and that is awesome. Had to buy a new belt for the new pants, even better. But all the shirts I liked were these metro fitted things that sucked to me like a fuckin wet shirt, and I hated that. Bought them anyway as a motivation to shed more weight off my big ass. Turns out maybe not such a great decision, took a lot of work to suck my gut in from 6pm to 3.30am!
Was actually impressed with the venue, out on an island after a boat ride so that must have taken some good squeeze. Bout your average event once there though. It was fancy dress and I’m not quite comfortable enough to be doing that sort of thing yet, so there was awards for that amongst the food and copious amounts of alcohol. But yes, it was pretty much the same, and we by the end of the night we ended up in the standard place in the city open past 1am.
I was about ready to just go home, then the Receptionist showed up… I haven’t really seen her in a while as I’ve been avoiding her because, well, I want to be with her lol. So I stuck around! That makes sense doesn’t it? 🙂 I got sidelined by a couple of guys though and spent 30 mins talking with them. They left, and there was now a place to sit down right next to her.
Of course, she gets up now right. She looked at me and told me she needs to go to the bathroom. I was kinda daft for a second lol, then asked if she knew where they were. I guess she was asking me, so I pointed and showed her where they were. More than once, she was a bit wasted it seems! I just walked with her half way while I showed her, then waited around to make sure nobody followed her in there.
She took ages, more than a half an hour and I actually got a bit worried. I dunno, do girls do that?? Maybe she got sick or something, but eventually came out and when I saw her I had such a ridiculous smile on my face. I’d convinced myself she had just gone home for the night. I hope she didn’t see that and if she did, doesn’t remember! She wasn’t in for long, and a couple of other girls grabbed her to head out to the street for a cigarette. She doesn’t smoke, it was for company/conversation or whatever. So another chance missed.
I guess after 15mins I heard a bit of noise, the three of them were having a good discussion with the bouncers who can’t let anyone back in the place after X time. Basically it was just me and another girl in there at this point, so I went and got all their coats and handbags and girly shit and left the place. They all seemed pretty impressed with that for some reason. Drunks 🙂
I wasn’t out for long next thing I know the Receptionist has my arm and was asking how rude the bouncers are and how silly it is to have these kinds of rules. I could certainly identify because where I am from and she is from both, “you can just grab a bottle, sit down and drink without some fuckers getting in your way of a good night!” – to which she was in full agreement. Then I heard a car horn.
Yup. Couple of girls in the street trying to get a cab. I knew the night was over, I am pretty sure her time her is almost at and end and all I really wanted to do is put the Receptionist in a cab and wish her a good night. So I spend 5 mins getting the other two girls in a cab before they got hit in the road, was an issue because it was some distance away and the cabbies were being right twats about their destination. Finally got one for them, they thanked me a lot, I’m like sure sure bye night so I can turn around and cross the street back to the Receptionist…
Who was now fucking gone. Lol. Am I just allowed to say, fuck that? 🙂
I can see clearly now.
There is no Friend Zone with the South American, suggesting that we just be friends before we had met for the first time must have just been some sort of insurance policy for her, so that if she didn’t like me she could just relegate me to friend status! We went to the movies to see a new release on Friday, she isn’t such a huge fan of watching scary movies but she picked it out so… As I thought she might, during the movie she inched closer and closer and wanted me to provide comfort. If you don’t know me yet, then I guess I just have to tell you that I didn’t provide it lol, I crossed my arms the entire movie and still kind of wondered. What is O.K. to do in this Friend Zone, do people cuddle up in the movies. Nawww.
Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face.
In any case, between then and now I’ve talked with her a bit and can say without question; she doesn’t want Friend Zone stuff… I guess I should be thrilled, have a very gorgeous very young girl interested in me for some reason. But if I have to ask myself honestly, am I thrilled? I don’t know. I started off with the expectation of just being friends, which despite what you or society thinks about that, I can actually just be friends with a woman and not constantly be thinking of sly ways to get into her legs. So my expectations of what was going to happen, didn’t pan out, so it has thrown me.
Long story short, I think I’m going to end up in bed with her and soon. I’ve got to get over some of my intimacy issues, and she would be a great help 😛
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
Or am I about to hand you the most lame pick-up you’ve heard in a while. I would guess the latter. So I have now around six hours of video on how to “make any girl mine” and how to “get the perfect 10” – this should be very interesting
I am sure it will not at all be filled with ridiculous fake Freudian era psychoanalytic bullshit based upon what some marketing throwback knows guys wan’t to hear, not what they really need to know, in order to pick-up women.
What else is there to do on a dateless Friday night when you wish you had a date? Wish me luck, I’m going to need it.
Great song I’ve come across. I will post the video, though I am not overly fond of it. The guy seems like a pretty big douche, but then I am probably just jealous of him and wished I was as big of a douche as he is I suppose 😛
Deer In The Headlights
That might as well be me in that picture today, except I’m not lucky enough to have the car hit me to put me out of my misery! No, I get to walk away and think about it all.
It probably isn’t politically correct to call someone a receptionist any longer especially since the person I’m speaking of does a lot more than just that, but for privacy reasons(hers & mine) I’m just going with that description. Basically I am well infatuated with The Receptionist. She is only here for a year before she returns home, six months of which have already passed. She is smart, she is funny, she is stunningly beautiful, her accent is divine, and she has a boyfriend. So I don’t really know why I allow myself to entertain any hope of any sort that something could possibly ever happen!
I saw her again today, I don’t always as she works on a different floor, when a case for the musical instrument I’m learning to play showed up. I happily went up full of things to say and to talk to her about if she cared to inquire. As soon as I walked in, I was but a deer in the headlights! Went blank. It is a real shame too, because she got up and seemed really interested, asked what it was and loved that I played music(didn’t really tell her I can’t haha), and I’m pretty sure was waiting for me to engage her in conversation. Instead, I just said “great, ok thank you!” and I ran away again.
Retrospection really is a bitch isn’t it! Did she ever look nice today too, totally taken by her. I managed to catch her attention at a work event a few weeks ago, her accent is obvious and I looked up some phrases in her native language so when I came across her I said hello, how are you to her in her language. The first song I am learning to play is also an old folk love song from her home and her name fits perfectly into it 😛
Now… After I learn how to play that song for her, how do I get myself into a situation where she might ask me to play something? I can’t really just walk around with musical instruments all the time hoping I’ll run into her then break into song all about her… Come on internets, give me the answer!