Archive for category The Receptionist

The Receptionist – Au Revoir



Well the end of the road has finally come for my frequently looked forward to future interactions with the Receptionist. She flew home last week under some personal circumstances as I understand, the company didn’t even send out an udate until it was too late. It will feel a bit odd for a while, I usually come into the office and hope for little run-ins with her where I get a chance to fail at basic human interaction with a female 🙂

In a company update a few days after she left, they actually passed out her personal e-mail address which she authorized to give so I have written the following to her:

The Receptionist,

Traditional greeting here! I was saddened to hear that you were leaving Country and thus also Company. I hope that the coloquial term welcomes you with open arms, may it light up your face with gladness and hide every trace of sadness. If you have a need for someone out here to give you a hand with any loose ends of any kind, please don’t be afraid to ask me at all as I would really be happy to help you out!

Best wishes and of course traditional wishing of luck here!



That is all that I could come up with without sounding too much like a sob. I take solace in the fact that in a parallel universe, I ended up with her 🙂


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Just A Note – Hopeless At Times(most of them)!



I walked down stairs today to pick up a package, so I grab for it and sign from the person who has replaced ‘the Receptionist’ as the actual receptionist. People can tell who I am from a mile away, I’m not loud but I do have an accent of sorts, so I like to think that the Receptionist heard me and made a point of saying hello.

She poked her head across her desk with a big smile and waved right at me! I got so caught up in that, I forgot what I was doing for a second and looked pretty silly to the person giving me the package I think haha.

What I should have done:

Wave right back just as eenthusiastically walk over, say hello, ask how her day is going and what she’s up to.

What I actually did:

Waved back half-assed, then picked my jaw up off the floor and finished signing, walked out.

What the frack! I keep saying when it comes to her, I know what I’m not going to do next time and then keep doing it… She has been here far longer than she initially thought, and I now question if the line she gives everyone at work “I’ve got a bf” is accurate or not… One of these days, I am going to have to just grow some balls. Only hope she doesn’t cut them off and feed them to me if I stick them out 🙂




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Sometimes the universe is incredibly kind to you. Or is it? What if the universe gives you a great opportunity but not the skills to deal with such an occurrence? Seemingly and even in my opinion it wouldn’t really be the universe’s fault since all the skills you have are learned directly from it, good or bad, so then it would come down to the individual. Hence; the Universe can be kind and I can FAIL.

We just had a big staff briefing at the office. There were around 120 people there and it was a pretty sung fit for all of us. I stood on the side of the room half way up to the presenters with the group of people I work with daily. Then for some reason the Receptionist comes around, talks to a few people before the presentation and then comes to stand next to me when it starts…

I’ve had mixed feelings about her for a while now, you know it doesn’t really feel great when there is someone you like and you’re positive they can’t or wouldn’t reciprocate those feelings. One thing is the same though because when she stood next to me I was like a leaf in the wind… When she looks at me, I disconnect from the world around me. Heart rate up, body temp up, self consciousness through the roof. Kind of feel like I’m in middle school again standing next to my first crush, it is so very embarrassing!

There wasn’t much interaction between us, some, could have been more if I had half a testicle to be my usual fun, witty, and playful self around her. But yeah, the FAIL runs strong in this one! Wan’t another example? Sure. A few times she got a bit close, I’m not sure why because it wasn’t quite that packed in there, but our arms touched a few times and I always immediately freaked out each time and gave her more space. The last time it happened, I didn’t pull away, so for about 5 mins I felt her energy(in heat form cos I didn’t have any crystals ya’know) which was probably the highlight of my week.

I know what you’re thinking trust me, thinking it myself. Grow a pair! Here is a cup of concrete to harden up! Haha, well, I suppose it all starts at home. I’m working on myself and my own confidence first. When I feel I have something to offer a beautiful person like the Receptionist, I will feel a bit more comfortable interacting with that person.

I hope!


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Art of War Followup


A while ago now I posted Art Of War so I will just quickly follow up on that. I did end up making something and it turned out, meh, I clearly have no artistic ability when it comes to crafts. Not yet at least.

In any case, instead of finding a way to deliver the project to the Receptionist without her knowing who it came from I took a different approach. Instead of making it personal like that, and really in my view maybe even a bit creepy, I hung the thing up above my desk lol. When she is back from vacation, she isn’t going to miss that and will certainly get her to talk to me without a doubt.

I can’t wait to post about how that conversation goes after it happens; train wreck without a doubt!


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This will never end ‘Cause I want more

Sarah Greene


So I am a guy and I tend to watch guy things on the boob tube. I like me some good medieval period pieces. I like me some good sword play. I like me some blood. I like me Vikings beaucoup. Though Season 3 of Vikings saw the Judith character replaced. An almost exact copy of the Receptionist visually.

This is conflicting me and is in a way making the show less enjoyable. That is kind of funny really, I mean what the? I suppose when you are kind of trying not to think of anyone and you are reminded of them it is always problematic, right, but this is just a bloody TV show. I’m rolling my eyes right now more than you are, trust me.

Sightings at work have also increased, no longer being a Receptionist, she is around the office quite a bit now. Still every time I see her I just turn away as quickly as I can, leave the room or otherwise ignore her. I don’t know why, nor can I fully understand just yet but I seem to get weird vibes from/around her. I’m going to have to get over that pretty soon though Three days soon. I am finally going to start that program at work and will be seeing her, as well as others, in group PT a couple of times a week. Have all the doctors certificates required and the spare time is starting to finally creep back to me too.

Time to get over a few more things; public display of exercise which scares me shitless, and my awkwardness around the Receptionist.

I suppose as the song goes… “After the night when I wake up, I’ll see what tomorrow brings.”


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From Slightly Depressed To Surprised


Chicken? Bitch, please…

I make Marty McFly look like the ballsiest guy alive lol. So I left the office slightly early at 6.30PM, and whom do I see in the lift on the way down but my most favourite Receptionist. She’s been promoted internally so now has a lot more to do, no more 4:59PM runners 🙂

My heart skipped a beat, as it always does, walking into the lift wanting to say hello, but not doing so. Two other unknowns in the lift so I picked a corner where I couldn’t be further away from her. Smooth. Doors open and I let all the girls out and follow last, I saw which way she was going and it was straight to the same public transport station I use now.

Did I A) say hello walk and talk with her for the 15 min walk? Or B) avoid that opportunity by walking in the opposite direction, around the building and take the long way to the station. If you guessed B you get a gold star. I still can’t figure out why I did it, I’ve clearly got issues of some kind and I’ve been a little upset with myself.

I got a slight reprieve from that, I sent out a hello to my friend the Inger(the Webcam Model) and told her what a pratt I am for being so chicken. I know she gets a kick out of my shy pains so I let her in on it! Then came a surprise, she wants to try and save up and come see me in August… Needless to say I still don’t quite believe it. I mean seriously why would she want to do that lol, unless there might be someone else here she wants to see maybe!

In any case, I may be planning a trip in August with myself going elsewhere. So I said how about instead of you paying the cost, we split it and I send you to New York for a week with me instead? I have yet to hear back, but I suppose I’ll get an answer one way or another soon-ish.

What a weird evening!

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Another Work Christmas Party Survived

xmas.jpgI Hate These Things

Yup, another Christmas party tossed by an employer. Time to go buy some new clothes and pretend to be happy wasting another Friday with people I’ve got to fight every day just to get the most mundane shit done. Awesome! But if I don’t write about this, I still have nothing to write about!

I bought some new clothes which is always a bad idea because I don’t know how to dress myself and am very fashion deaf. But I did it anyway, wasn’t bad, I’ve gone down from a 38 to a 34 now and that is awesome. Had to buy a new belt for the new pants, even better. But all the shirts I liked were these metro fitted things that sucked to me like a fuckin wet shirt, and I hated that. Bought them anyway as a motivation to shed more weight off my big ass. Turns out maybe not such a great decision, took a lot of work to suck my gut in from 6pm to 3.30am!

Was actually impressed with the venue, out on an island after a boat ride so that must have taken some good squeeze. Bout your average event once there though. It was fancy dress and I’m not quite comfortable enough to be doing that sort of thing yet, so there was awards for that amongst the food and copious amounts of alcohol. But yes, it was pretty much the same, and we by the end of the night we ended up in the standard place in the city open past 1am.

I was about ready to just go home, then the Receptionist showed up… I haven’t really seen her in a while as I’ve been avoiding her because, well, I want to be with her lol. So I stuck around! That makes sense doesn’t it? 🙂 I got sidelined by a couple of guys though and spent 30 mins talking with them. They left, and there was now a place to sit down right next to her.

Of course, she gets up now right. She looked at me and told me she needs to go to the bathroom. I was kinda daft for a second lol, then asked if she knew where they were. I guess she was asking me, so I pointed and showed her where they were. More than once, she was a bit wasted it seems! I just walked with her half way while I showed her, then waited around to make sure nobody followed her in there.

She took ages, more than a half an hour and I actually got a bit worried. I dunno, do girls do that?? Maybe she got sick or something, but eventually came out and when I saw her I had such a ridiculous smile on my face. I’d convinced myself she had just gone home for the night. I hope she didn’t see that and if she did, doesn’t remember! She wasn’t in for long, and a couple of other girls grabbed her to head out to the street for a cigarette. She doesn’t smoke, it was for company/conversation or whatever. So another chance missed.

I guess after 15mins I heard a bit of noise, the three of them were having a good discussion with the bouncers who can’t let anyone back in the place after X time. Basically it was just me and another girl in there at this point, so I went and got all their coats and handbags and girly shit and left the place. They all seemed pretty impressed with that for some reason. Drunks 🙂

I wasn’t out for long next thing I know the Receptionist has my arm and was asking how rude the bouncers are and how silly it is to have these kinds of rules. I could certainly identify because where I am from and she is from both, “you can just grab a bottle, sit down and drink without some fuckers getting in your way of a good night!” – to which she was in full agreement. Then I heard a car horn.

Yup. Couple of girls in the street trying to get a cab. I knew the night was over, I am pretty sure her time her is almost at and end and all I really wanted to do is put the Receptionist in a cab and wish her a good night. So I spend 5 mins getting the other two girls in a cab before they got hit in the road, was an issue because it was some distance away and the cabbies were being right twats about their destination. Finally got one for them, they thanked me a lot, I’m like sure sure bye night so I can turn around and cross the street back to the Receptionist…

Who was now fucking gone. Lol. Am I just allowed to say, fuck that? 🙂

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