Posts Tagged happiness
2015 was not a bad year, it could have been better but I can’t complain too much! I didn’t lose any internal organs this year so it has to be good right!? I had a better 2014 though for a few of my personal goals but that just means I need to step up my game in 2016 to catch up.
Work, well work is always fine. I know what I’m doing and I am confident in that area of my life and I’ll always have a job so long as there is a need, which I am guessing will carry on until I’m 70 given how the governments of the world seem keen on ending all help to seniors the scoundrels.
Here are some stats for the year:
Average hours worked per week: 72.8
Weight lost: 5KG (25KG in 2014!)
Average walk distance per day: 2.15 Kilometers / 1.33 Miles
Amount of meat eaten: NONE
Times I was in bed with a woman: 1 😦
Initial sugar dates: 4 – Follow up sugar dates: 1
Non-sugar dates: 3 – Follow up non-sugar dates: 1
My goals for this year are clear to me, I still need to drop another 10-15KG and to do it I need to start spending about two hours a week, or at least 15min per day, in the home gym.
Another very annoying thing that has started to occur recently are some pretty bad skin problems arising from shaving. I’m not exactly sure why or where it comes from, I haven’t changed much of that process in the past few years and I’ve only been getting healthier so what gives? I’ve been thinking about having laser hair removal done on my face to prevent the hair from even growing so I don’t have to shave. I’m in my mid 30s, I don’t need fucking breakouts on top of all the other things I’m still insecure about!
I would also like to spend some time studying, I wouldn’t mind doing some distance courses on writing or planetary sciences, anything I’m interested in and not work related for a change.
As for my personal life where women are concerned, I can’t make any goals there, just have to let it happen naturally. Don’t need to put any more pressure on that aspect of my life on top of what I already have applied!
Hello 2016! Please be kind to us all 🙂
I’ve been dreading this moment for a while, nearly a year it has actually taken me to move my ass to even try it. After losing a satisfactory amount of weight through diet, more than I thought possible without added exercise anyway, it has come to a head and I needed to get to the “gym.” Big deal right? Just do it, no pain no gain, and all that other crap. I have a few things running interference though, one you may find a bit silly and the other is no laughing matter.
Let us just start with the silliness first. Not quite half, but almost half, of the reason I’ve been avoiding going to the gym is my critical lack of self confidence. I don’t want to look like an idiot, I don’t want to be surrounded by hot attractive people(I also say no to the beach), and stupidly enough of all things not even knowing what I should wear to a gym has been a cause of concern. Like I said, pretty silly. I’m working around that though, I’ve just spent a decent amount of money on my own gym equipment and I’ve set one up for myself. There. No worries about other people any longer.
Now comes the hard part, I don’t think I’ve really ever talked about it here before in depth. I have a rather colorful past when it comes to getting physically hurt and damaging myself. I have developed neuropathic pain from one or a sum of these injuries, which aren’t small even when factored individually. I usually know my limits pretty well and I try to look after myself, but I know that I have limits and I understand that I will probably never be able to keep up with someone my own age or younger.
This was very clearly made evident by my first week in the home gym, and does connect to the looking silly part above; Currently I can only do about 15 mins of exercise a day in total and broken up to 5 min sessions. I was hoping for maybe two 30 min sessions to start with but that is way out of reach at the moment. For me, right now, that is my normal and I obviously feel that is just a bit pathetic! Makes me so glad that I didn’t go to the gym, the majority of people don’t understand chronic pain and it would just look ridiculous with me in pain after 5 mins. I’ve been fearing this, I suppose I knew it was coming as I said I do know my limits.
Disappointed or not, I’ve faced it now. The only thing I can do is try to maintain at least the same thing, 5 mins three times a day, and just hope that in some way the persistence of it will allow me to increase my resistance to pain so that I can keep going or help my body in ways where the pain just naturally is less. I wish someone could tell me how it would go, but I guess this is just something I’m going to have to mentally fight for a while.
I was looking forward to the holiday seasons, Oct-Jan, because I should have been looking a bit better now. Instead I’ve skipped every work event since last December and now seemingly have nothing great to look forward to now besides wanting my body to hold out in pain just a little longer on the equipment!
Last week I was hand-balled the biggest piece of work I’ve ever received. I kind of saw it coming, when they ask for a quote from a 3rd party and it comes back taking three guys 90 days and $275,000 to complete it… Of course they are going to smash their local salary earning slave! So I get four months and a pat on the back, hahaha, good times, good times.
Due to that and just spending a week trying to figure out exactly what and how the hell I am going to manage this project, I haven’t been out at all and everything I started to build momentum with is on pause. Just when I started to get some luck! I’m not sure I even care too much at this point though because I’m doing something very fun this weekend; going to see my favorite astrophysicist give a speech…
Ok so when I say very fun, I mean very fun for me haha. During my early years studying medicine I quickly found myself much more interested in astrophysics, but due to my early ill-advised marriage I tanked all my studies and ended up in a completely unrelated field to both. Anyway, just very excited and thought I would share that!
My possible three date week turned into a zero date week in the end! Allow me to explain.
My first date was Wednesday, but really turned out not to be a date. Her body language wasn’t right, said a few odd things and at least one insulting thing to me, and flat out refused to let me pay more than half of the food we ate. I thought she was a nice and interesting enough person, but certainly no sparks on her side of things so I didn’t get too interested.
So right after that I jumped on public transport back to the office and remembered that one of the three girls had asked me to drinks the week before, so feeling crap I sent her a message and asked her to drinks! Normally I’d never try anything this brave, meeting two women I’d not met before in one day is about all the stress this poor fool can take.
Get this, she was literally eating at the place I had just left with the other girl when I sent her the message! Small world. She was still eating and would be an hour at least, but she agreed, and we met up at a tavern at 10:45pm. We had a few drinks and chatted for about an hour, she had a bad cough though and I didn’t want to make her stay too long so I packed up and we went our seperate ways. She is Taiwanese and the language barrier, here for only 6 months, was interesting. There was a lot of nodding and smiling along from both of us haha, that will take some getting use to. At least she is still keen on meting again, so I am sure we will soon… For a real date.
The third date delayed due to flu, it is going around, so I was off the hook there.
It is also worth to note, that I have not met anyone for the first time before where I just go and grab a few drinks with them. Much more relaxing than meeting and going to a full out dinner together. I’m not cheap, just awkward!
I’m not exactly sure how this happened. Next week I will have three first dates, if I want them, and seemingly by dumb luck? Well, I just checked my online dating profiles and of course as usual, not a thing. It has been even more depressing there than usual of late, I haven’t been able to get anyone to chat with me in over a month. Every day, nothing but not interested.
So how did I get three dates? I grabbed this cheap dodgy looking chat application, it does a geo search and pulls back people close to your physical location to chat to. There are people from all walks of life and I’ve done some really good chats. So much so that after one week of chatting people, next week I have three women who would love to go out with me. One has already asked me out for drinks first!
They all have my picture, and are pretty girls, so it makes me ask the question what is wrong with dating sites! Mine does not, but do others have a mentality shift when the log into dating sites? Do they switch to an extreme, must be this for that because I’m getting what I want or something? These three girls in a lot of cases are a lot more attractive than girls I’ve tried to contact on dating sites too. It just seems that I win people over if I am able to talk to them which I am not able to do on dating sites, don’t think they can get pat my ugly mug or something!
Well I can’t think too much about it, I’ll just get more confused in my poor little male brain 🙂 I should count my luck now that after 9/10 months of not a single drink or date with anyone I’ve got suddenly three I need to somehow organize. Totally unexpected!
I did something this weekend, Friday through to 4am Monday, which I almost never do. Stopped working, didn’t worry about going out, just sat my ass down at home and watched movies. It was the first time in a while I haven’t had a sizable project on at work, and of course I have no personal life and couldn’t bring myself to log into any of the dating sites and fail again lol. So, movies it was!
Here is the list:
Terminator 2 Judgement Day
Die Hard 2 Die Harder
Stand By Me
Just me, a nice warm fire, green tea and sweet potato oven fries. Have to admit, it isn’t overly terrible spending time by myself without worrying about the fact that I am, by my self!
Well the end of the road has finally come for my frequently looked forward to future interactions with the Receptionist. She flew home last week under some personal circumstances as I understand, the company didn’t even send out an udate until it was too late. It will feel a bit odd for a while, I usually come into the office and hope for little run-ins with her where I get a chance to fail at basic human interaction with a female 🙂
In a company update a few days after she left, they actually passed out her personal e-mail address which she authorized to give so I have written the following to her:
Traditional greeting here! I was saddened to hear that you were leaving Country and thus also Company. I hope that the coloquial term welcomes you with open arms, may it light up your face with gladness and hide every trace of sadness. If you have a need for someone out here to give you a hand with any loose ends of any kind, please don’t be afraid to ask me at all as I would really be happy to help you out!
Best wishes and of course traditional wishing of luck here!
That is all that I could come up with without sounding too much like a sob. I take solace in the fact that in a parallel universe, I ended up with her 🙂