Posts Tagged health

Four Days Until Two Years, Oh Hi, I Have To Pee!

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“Nobody dies from lack of sex. It’s lack of love we die from.”
E E Cummings

Well hello there everyone, it has been a while since my last post hasn’t it. So so much has… not happened lol, thought I was going in a different direction there? I will endeavour to start posting again, I have had so very little happening in my love life that it honestly hasn’t warranted a post. I suppose that was the danger in creating a blog specifically about love issues. Then again the lack of love issues in fact a love issue, exactly like the quote above from Cummings illustrates.

Instead of dwelling on the fact this moment, that I’ll have been sexless for two years in four days… Lets go in a different direction! Few weeks ago I ended up in the hospital again with severe pain in my side, it felt like a kidney stone or something and I had to hit the ER for some fluid. Little did I know how much I was going to get. They hooked me up to a litre of fluid and handed me three bottles of water for another litre to be taken orally. When all that was done, I had to use the bathroom. Truly. Then they stuck another Litre on me and told me to hold it for an hour…

By the time that was done, I was starting to get worried. 15m later they finally wheeled me down the hall to the ultrasound room and I was ready to get this shit done and my ass into the bathroom. I guess they had different ideas and some of them, for me, included torture. Firstly it must have been intern day, because this very lovley young girl from the university attached to the hospital had a front seat to me with my gown pulled up to my neck, in my undies. Since I am so painfully shy and would dread even going to the beach to take off my shirt; you can imagine how I was feeling at this point!

And then, laying there in pain, embarassed, the russian nurse jams that god damn ultrasound senso into my bladder I thought it was going to be all over. She jabbed that thing around for about 5 mins of pure hell, then brought in yet another woman to see me in my undies. That makes three. They took off into a side room I assume to go have a look at the results. Witht he pain and the piss, I had nearly forgotten about the uni student. I couldnt lay down any more however, I found that it was eaiser to hold it if I sat up, so I did, and looking up when I did she was still there at the end of the bed. She said “Hi” kind of awkwardly, and who can blame her haha. I just wanted to say, Sorry!, but just barely made out a “Hello” back. I never needed a toilet so bad and I had to wait another 5min before I got to use it, I could have kissed the damn thing.

Anyway, I’m totally fine, no big issue and I’m not actually in the hospital every month or anything. This was just the most entertaining thing that happened to me I thought you might all want to read about.

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Just A Good Year

New Year Ahead , Road sign , 3d render

2015 was not a bad year, it could have been better but I can’t complain too much! I didn’t lose any internal organs this year so it has to be good right!? I had a better 2014 though for a few of my personal goals but that just means I need to step up my game in 2016 to catch up.

Work, well work is always fine. I know what I’m doing and I am confident in that area of my life and I’ll always have a job so long as there is a need, which I am guessing will carry on until I’m 70 given how the governments of the world seem keen on ending all help to seniors the scoundrels.

Here are some stats for the year:

Average hours worked per week: 72.8

Weight lost: 5KG (25KG in 2014!)

Average walk distance per day: 2.15 Kilometers / 1.33 Miles

Amount of meat eaten: NONE

Times I was in bed with a woman: 1 ¬†ūüė¶

Initial sugar dates: 4 – Follow up sugar dates: 1

Non-sugar dates: 3 –¬†Follow up non-sugar dates: 1

 

 

My goals for this year are clear to me, I still need to drop another 10-15KG and to do it I need to start spending about two hours a week, or at least 15min per day, in the home gym.

Another very annoying thing that has started to occur recently are some pretty bad skin problems arising from shaving. I’m not exactly sure why or where it comes from, I haven’t changed much of that process in the past few years and I’ve only been getting healthier so what gives? I’ve been thinking about having laser hair removal done on my face to prevent the hair from even growing so I don’t have to shave. I’m in my mid 30s, I don’t need fucking breakouts on top of all the other things I’m still insecure about!

I would also like to spend some time studying, I wouldn’t mind doing some distance courses on writing or planetary sciences, anything I’m interested in and not work related for a change.

As for my personal life where women are concerned, I can’t make any goals there, just have to let it happen naturally. Don’t need to put any more pressure on that aspect of my life on top of what I already have applied!

Hello 2016! Please be kind to us all ūüôā

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NO PAIN, NO GAI– Ow, fuck!

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I’ve been dreading this moment for a while, nearly a year it has actually taken me to move my ass to even try it. After losing a satisfactory amount of weight through diet, more than I thought possible without added exercise anyway, it has come to a head and I needed to get to the “gym.” Big deal right? Just do it, no pain no gain, and all that other crap. I have a few things running interference though, one you may find a bit silly and the other is no laughing matter.

Let us just start with the silliness first. Not quite half, but almost half, of the reason I’ve been avoiding going to the gym is my critical lack of self confidence. I don’t want to look like an idiot, I don’t want to be surrounded by hot attractive people(I also say no to the beach), and stupidly enough of all things not even knowing what I should wear to a gym has been a cause of concern. Like I said, pretty silly. I’m working around that though, I’ve just spent a decent amount of money on my own gym equipment and I’ve set one up for myself. There. No worries about other people any longer.

Now comes the hard part, I don’t think I’ve really ever talked about it here before in depth. I have a rather colorful past when it comes to getting physically hurt and damaging myself. I have developed¬†neuropathic pain from one or a sum of these injuries, which aren’t small even when factored individually. I usually know my limits pretty well and I try to look after myself, but I know that I have limits and I understand that I will probably never be able to keep up with someone my own age or younger.

This was very clearly made evident by my first week in the home gym, and does connect to the looking silly part above; Currently I can only do about 15 mins of exercise a day in total and broken up to 5 min sessions. I was hoping for maybe two 30 min sessions to start with but that is way out of reach at the moment.¬†For me, right now, that is my normal and I obviously feel that is just a bit pathetic! Makes me so glad that I didn’t go to the gym, the majority of people don’t understand chronic pain and it would just look ridiculous with me in pain after 5 mins. I’ve been fearing this, I suppose I knew it was coming as I said I do know my limits.

Disappointed or not, I’ve faced it now. The only thing I can do is try to maintain at least the same thing, 5 mins three times a day, and just hope that in some way the persistence of it will allow me to increase my resistance to pain so that I can keep going or help my body in ways where the pain just naturally is less. I wish someone could tell me how it would go, but I guess this is just something I’m going to have to mentally fight for a while.

I was looking forward to the holiday seasons, Oct-Jan, because I should have been looking a bit better now. Instead I’ve skipped every work event since last December and now seemingly have nothing great to look forward to now besides wanting my body to hold out in pain just a little longer on the equipment!

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Dry Spell – 6 Months & Counting

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Yup, a few weeks past 6 months has now gone by for me without any sex. My last bedtime fun was with the South American, only it didn’t turn out really to be any fun at all. Before that, it was over two years. That makes a total of sex, once, in the past three years. Awesome.

I am not involved in any adult dating sites, Tinder included. SeekingArrangement really allowed me to talk to and have a few initial dates with women very easily, but what came next didn’t come so easily or naturally and I wasn’t enjoying guessing at Arrangements so I’m now off SA until further notice. With standard dating sites, 9 out of every 10 attempts at contacting result in an immediate not interested half of which are blocks. The other 1 out of 10 person who accepts seems only interested in chatting never meeting.

Dating without online assistance isn’t an option. I work too much, don’t go out enough on my own or at all with friends.¬†You might think I am the most uninteresting and unattractive person in the world to have this kind of a problem.

And I would probably agree with you at this point, because I’m not quite sure what I’m doing so wrong! Oh well. Keep trying to self improve and don’t give up is all I can do despite feeling like I’m %100 unwanted.

 

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Second Sugar Date – Strike Two

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Sugar Date #2

Well I think you can tell where I am going with this already! I’ve just returned from my second sugar date, and it didn’t go that well at all. So far, the only common denominator is myself, so I’m going to need to figure out what I’m doing wrong and put an end to that!

We caught up together at a place we both knew how to get to, and then walked by foot up to the place for lunch. I’m glad I picked it, it was one of the most impressive places I’ve ever eaten at! As impressive was¬†everything else, view, menu, $$ lol, service, and company.

I got the distinct feeling on the date that she wasn’t really interested, this could be for any number of reasons, and plenty of body language to support my claim. I didn’t give up though, I tried my best to make small talk and be interesting and all but was still sure she was happy with the place and the food at least.

I may just be terribly boring really! One of the areas where I’m not like most men, I’m not completely full of shit and I don’t embellish everything I’ve ever done. I’ve done quite a bit personally actually, but I have a hard time telling the “story” and making it sound interesting. I’m just not a great salesman ūüôā In any case, I think I know how this is going to go, I don’t think I will continue my journey as a SD just now. I think I have quite a bit more work to do on myself first, I’m not happy enough with me. I may return to SA as a SD later after that if I can accomplish it. I’ve priced up my home gym, and that will run me about 12k so I think that is where I’ll be spending my time and money for a while!

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First Sugar Date Completed

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But No Chemistry?

I had my very first sugar date yesterday with the Nutritionist. We met just outside the venue, an “upmarket” Japanese restaurant, and right away I was struck by how tall she was! I had to go back to her SA profile after the date to check to see if I missed something obvious, I didn’t because her height wasn’t listed. I would say even without her shoes, she would have been at least my height at 5’11” – with her shoes, she was a good two inches over me. I know women aren’t fond of short men, so immediately I was put off because I felt she would have been put off. That is just how I work, not sure if accurate. If I had seen her height on her profile, I most likely wouldn’t have even sent her a message, but don’t get me wrong, I think tall women are gorgeous and there is nothing wrong with them from my perspective!

We had our greetings, made our way to be seated and walked the length of the restaurant. A lot, no understatement, of heads turned watching a tall gorgeous blonde walk through. I feel guilty about feeling bad about this, but because standing next to her people must have been; WTF? I felt bad because she was with me, an average guy. I feel guilty about feeling bad because it isn’t her fault for being very healthy and attractive or even tall, I don’t want to place the blame for this on her or anything. We sat down, I handed her a card with what I hoped was decent for a first sugar date, $300 in this case, and she thanked me.

In any case, as usual and due to the fact that we were ordering as Vegans there was some lengthy ordering to be done. Asking what things were made from and what they were, you know, annoying shit us Vegans do! The food was great though, and she was too. Conversation was mostly about health and topics related to that, some from my past as she seemed interested in certain parts of it. Getting people’s stories is pretty closely related to her work, so she was pretty good at getting the information out of me haha.

The date was from 7 till 9 at the restaurant, I did have to go back to work anyway so that made it easy not to get confused about what or even if anything more would have been on the cards¬†for the night. In any case I didn’t really feel the insert your own shitty¬†clich√©¬†with her on this date, so I am sure it ended right as she would have wanted it to. Paid for the dinner, left a good tip, walked her to the parking station and paid for her parking and said our goodbyes.

I’m pretty disappointed! I suppose you can’t hit a home run on your first try, but I didn’t expect to go to the ball park and then not be able to play the game haha. I guess I just felt like it was over before it started on this first SD. Shit!

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Pilates – Session Deux

Pilates Of Dunwoody-363

 

Ok so I’m not exactly doing whatever that girl in the picture is doing… Wtf is she doing by the way? I. Don’t. Even. But, I just had my second session!

It is still pretty easy going, all instructional, trying out the different things while the instructor gets to know me and where my issues are. I was kind of freaked out this time, I expected the place to be empty as it was a one-on-one. But it wasn’t. ¬†There were a few people there and I have total fear of looking like I don’t know what I’m doing! Anyway, had to get over it, have to get over it.

I’m not quite into the feeling good stage yet, not doing anything really taxing. Actually that is probably for the best, because I’ve got some decent pain after the session. Mind you this is exactly why I’m doing Pilates! Hope it works out!

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