Posts Tagged hospital

Four Days Until Two Years, Oh Hi, I Have To Pee!


“Nobody dies from lack of sex. It’s lack of love we die from.”
E E Cummings

Well hello there everyone, it has been a while since my last post hasn’t it. So so much has… not happened lol, thought I was going in a different direction there? I will endeavour to start posting again, I have had so very little happening in my love life that it honestly hasn’t warranted a post. I suppose that was the danger in creating a blog specifically about love issues. Then again the lack of love issues in fact a love issue, exactly like the quote above from Cummings illustrates.

Instead of dwelling on the fact this moment, that I’ll have been sexless for two years in four days… Lets go in a different direction! Few weeks ago I ended up in the hospital again with severe pain in my side, it felt like a kidney stone or something and I had to hit the ER for some fluid. Little did I know how much I was going to get. They hooked me up to a litre of fluid and handed me three bottles of water for another litre to be taken orally. When all that was done, I had to use the bathroom. Truly. Then they stuck another Litre on me and told me to hold it for an hour…

By the time that was done, I was starting to get worried. 15m later they finally wheeled me down the hall to the ultrasound room and I was ready to get this shit done and my ass into the bathroom. I guess they had different ideas and some of them, for me, included torture. Firstly it must have been intern day, because this very lovley young girl from the university attached to the hospital had a front seat to me with my gown pulled up to my neck, in my undies. Since I am so painfully shy and would dread even going to the beach to take off my shirt; you can imagine how I was feeling at this point!

And then, laying there in pain, embarassed, the russian nurse jams that god damn ultrasound senso into my bladder I thought it was going to be all over. She jabbed that thing around for about 5 mins of pure hell, then brought in yet another woman to see me in my undies. That makes three. They took off into a side room I assume to go have a look at the results. Witht he pain and the piss, I had nearly forgotten about the uni student. I couldnt lay down any more however, I found that it was eaiser to hold it if I sat up, so I did, and looking up when I did she was still there at the end of the bed. She said “Hi” kind of awkwardly, and who can blame her haha. I just wanted to say, Sorry!, but just barely made out a “Hello” back. I never needed a toilet so bad and I had to wait another 5min before I got to use it, I could have kissed the damn thing.

Anyway, I’m totally fine, no big issue and I’m not actually in the hospital every month or anything. This was just the most entertaining thing that happened to me I thought you might all want to read about.


, ,

Leave a comment