Posts Tagged love

Daily Post – Me Mix


This will be easy I thought, no problems, I like a wide range of music and finding songs which explain me and my life would be a piece of cake. Nope! Turns out I was wrong and spent more than a few hours listening to songs while working trying to make this post actually work out haha. I am being a bit picky, not picking the song title or just a single line from a song which fits me, rather I’m trying for songs where the entirety of it hits me on the head.

What also makes it hard is that a metric crap ton of music is all about being in love or broken hearts after love. Both of which I am quite inexperienced at, to have a broken heart you need a chance to have love. Not as easy as I thought, but here goes.


DEF LEPPARD – “Love Bites”

I don’t wanna touch you too much baby
‘Cos making love to you might drive me crazy
I know you think that love is the way you make it
So I don’t wanna be there when you decide to break it

I guess this is a precautionary falling for someone song especially if you’ve been burnt before which I have, example; just when I thought things were going well with a girl I was dating for around two weeks a few years back, she up and ditches me. Why? I am too boring she said, not as exciting as she thought I was(truth hurts). What got me most is she ran back to a guy who beat the crap out of her in the past, more than once. Makes ya feel good. Makes you cautious about the next person you fall for…


JOHNNY CASH – “Before My Time”

I know that hearts were loving
Long before I was here
And I’m not the first to ever cry
In my bed or in my beer
There were songs before there was radio
Of love that stays and love that goes
They were writing meloncholy tunes
And tearful words that rhyme
Before my time
Before my time

This song to me is a great reminder that everything I am experiencing in life has been experienced before, by others, many times over. I think it helps to understand that while names and places might be different, nothing is unique about my problems at all 🙂


Tom Petty – “Two Gunslingers”

Two gunslingers, walked out in the street
And one said “I don’t want to fight no more”
And the other gunslinger thought about it
And he said, “yeah what are we fighting for?”

This is a great song, and exactly how I feel about all of the senseless violence out int he world readily available for observation. A simple realization and coming to terms that what is going down isn’t right and you don’t have to be a part of it!


Papa Roach – “Scars”

I tear my heart open
I sew myself shut
My weakness is
That I care too much
My scars remind us
That the past is real
I tear my heart open
Just to feel

This one is pretty self explanatory!


Alan Jackson – “Here In The Real World”

But here in the real world, it’s not that easy at all
‘Cause when hearts get broken, it’s real tears that fall
And darlin’ it’s sad but true, but the one thing I’ve learned from you
Is how the boy don’t always get the girl, here in the real world

Damn. Country music really has a way of kicking you while you’re down doesn’t it! This song describes the set of circumstances which have lead me to be over cautious to the point of never even bothering to ask anyone out any more lol.


I think that will basically give you all an idea of what I am like, if you were to listen to a set of songs meant to describe me 🙂


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Mix Tape Masterpiece.”


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The Receptionist – Au Revoir



Well the end of the road has finally come for my frequently looked forward to future interactions with the Receptionist. She flew home last week under some personal circumstances as I understand, the company didn’t even send out an udate until it was too late. It will feel a bit odd for a while, I usually come into the office and hope for little run-ins with her where I get a chance to fail at basic human interaction with a female 🙂

In a company update a few days after she left, they actually passed out her personal e-mail address which she authorized to give so I have written the following to her:

The Receptionist,

Traditional greeting here! I was saddened to hear that you were leaving Country and thus also Company. I hope that the coloquial term welcomes you with open arms, may it light up your face with gladness and hide every trace of sadness. If you have a need for someone out here to give you a hand with any loose ends of any kind, please don’t be afraid to ask me at all as I would really be happy to help you out!

Best wishes and of course traditional wishing of luck here!



That is all that I could come up with without sounding too much like a sob. I take solace in the fact that in a parallel universe, I ended up with her 🙂

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Dry Spell – 6 Months & Counting



Yup, a few weeks past 6 months has now gone by for me without any sex. My last bedtime fun was with the South American, only it didn’t turn out really to be any fun at all. Before that, it was over two years. That makes a total of sex, once, in the past three years. Awesome.

I am not involved in any adult dating sites, Tinder included. SeekingArrangement really allowed me to talk to and have a few initial dates with women very easily, but what came next didn’t come so easily or naturally and I wasn’t enjoying guessing at Arrangements so I’m now off SA until further notice. With standard dating sites, 9 out of every 10 attempts at contacting result in an immediate not interested half of which are blocks. The other 1 out of 10 person who accepts seems only interested in chatting never meeting.

Dating without online assistance isn’t an option. I work too much, don’t go out enough on my own or at all with friends. You might think I am the most uninteresting and unattractive person in the world to have this kind of a problem.

And I would probably agree with you at this point, because I’m not quite sure what I’m doing so wrong! Oh well. Keep trying to self improve and don’t give up is all I can do despite feeling like I’m %100 unwanted.


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Art of War Followup


A while ago now I posted Art Of War so I will just quickly follow up on that. I did end up making something and it turned out, meh, I clearly have no artistic ability when it comes to crafts. Not yet at least.

In any case, instead of finding a way to deliver the project to the Receptionist without her knowing who it came from I took a different approach. Instead of making it personal like that, and really in my view maybe even a bit creepy, I hung the thing up above my desk lol. When she is back from vacation, she isn’t going to miss that and will certainly get her to talk to me without a doubt.

I can’t wait to post about how that conversation goes after it happens; train wreck without a doubt!


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This will never end ‘Cause I want more

Sarah Greene


So I am a guy and I tend to watch guy things on the boob tube. I like me some good medieval period pieces. I like me some good sword play. I like me some blood. I like me Vikings beaucoup. Though Season 3 of Vikings saw the Judith character replaced. An almost exact copy of the Receptionist visually.

This is conflicting me and is in a way making the show less enjoyable. That is kind of funny really, I mean what the? I suppose when you are kind of trying not to think of anyone and you are reminded of them it is always problematic, right, but this is just a bloody TV show. I’m rolling my eyes right now more than you are, trust me.

Sightings at work have also increased, no longer being a Receptionist, she is around the office quite a bit now. Still every time I see her I just turn away as quickly as I can, leave the room or otherwise ignore her. I don’t know why, nor can I fully understand just yet but I seem to get weird vibes from/around her. I’m going to have to get over that pretty soon though Three days soon. I am finally going to start that program at work and will be seeing her, as well as others, in group PT a couple of times a week. Have all the doctors certificates required and the spare time is starting to finally creep back to me too.

Time to get over a few more things; public display of exercise which scares me shitless, and my awkwardness around the Receptionist.

I suppose as the song goes… “After the night when I wake up, I’ll see what tomorrow brings.”


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Stabbed For Masturbating By Wife

n-MASTURBATION-large570Not To Scale

The title of this post is accurate, it did happen just as it sounds, not a click-me-link! I’ll set the scene, because I know what you are thinking already; bull shit! Well I tend to end up with girls who don’t want to sleep with me, no matter what,  2002 while married to my first wife I tried to get sex on my usual once a quarter frequency and was of course denied. This was pretty much par for course.

If You Can’t Join Her, Beat It

Usually I would just wait until she was out of the house and get to work on myself but I couldn’t take it any more. Before dinner I jumped in the shower, squeezed out some conditioner and started to take myself for a spin. You guessed it, a short time after that I was busted totally. It is too bad men can’t hide their damn excitement!

Her first reaction? Open the shower door, yell at me for about 5 mins, walk out slamming the door. Fine, I can handle that, got use to that from her already! Worst thing so far was just the fact that I couldn’t finish the job in the shower, kind of over it at that point so I dried off and got dressed.

Silent But Deadly

I prepared myself mentally for what was about to happen, she’d either yell or say nothing at all for the next couple of days, tell her entire family what a freak and pervert I am(yeah she was VERY religious), and then things would relax from DEFCON 3 and return up to DEFCON 5 and then just get back to how shitty it usually was, right? Nope.

First not a word. Nothing. Just sat down at the table, she was already eating. Steak and beans, so I started eating. We both finished dinner, not a word still. I wasn’t really paying much attention I have to admit, just kind of sitting there feeling sorry for myself, what was the next thing I noticed? DEFCON 1; her steak knife buried into my hand, to the bone, between the index and middle finger knuckles.

I Said Doctor, Is There Nothing I Can Take

Ow shit! Is about as best as I can describe it. After that she jumped in the car drove to and spent the next few days at her parents house. I had no way to the Dr and too far from the hospital, but that is fine, I’m a country boy and the city has plenty to offer. I walked down to the liquer shop and bought a bottle of Vodka, bloody hand in tow and got more than a few looks, had a few swigs on my way home. Irrigated the wound, grabbed a couple of pens to keep fingers from bending and taped it all together.

No permanent damage of any kind, to my hand, I think I ended up with some decent mental scarring from the event however! I kind of get that this was a pretty big over reaction to catching your man with his snake in his hands girls, what would your reaction be to the same thing? 🙂

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The Art Of War


All Is Fair!

Well I am going with that, fair or not. At this point in my life, I kind of feel like whatever I need to do to make myself happy is fair. Short of committing a crime that might be featured on Law & Order, CSI or otherwise of course!

Breaking New Ground

So if anyone out there reads this blog, you’ll know that breaking new ground for me is pretty much walking outside and speaking to a cute girl haha. But this is going a bit deeper. The above image not what I am making, rather I am making something that is a symbol of her home(flower) with  a few strips of paper, some Hershey Kisses, and some baking string. I don’t think I’ve made anything out of crafts since I was in High School so this will be interesting. I’m reserved about showing the finished or exact product here, I’d just die if she was a blogger and saw this!

This little project is for The Receptionist who I haven’t seen since I got that case for my musical instrument, I’m going to have to make up a reason to visit her soon! Right after I think up of something to talk to her about in which I’ll forget, tank, and run away from as soon as I see her haha. In any case I hope making something like this and dropping it off at her desk, when she’s not around and there are no witnesses of course, isn’t creepy or stalky.

Please let me know if it is and I’ll not do it!

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