Posts Tagged relationships
So it came, unlike me, it has been now two years since the last time I’ve been lucky enough to have sex. Can’t really think about much more to say about that, just thought it was a milestone for better or worse so I’ve recorded it…
So I tried online dating again last week, and I’ve immediately remembered why I gave up on it in a fit of shame. Literally the only women I can get to talk to me, are fake! Everyone else clicks the generic “Not interested” button as soon as they get a look at my pictures, which is again kind of depressing. Then every now and then someone will talk to me, but they are obviously fake.
I understand that most women are totally spammed by men, for better or worse, but at least you have a choice! Just isn’t working for the non-attractive male so well haha, but at least I can have a little fun with it:
Haha yes, that is me, telling fake profiles I’m investigating them. They block ya pretty quick!
My possible three date week turned into a zero date week in the end! Allow me to explain.
My first date was Wednesday, but really turned out not to be a date. Her body language wasn’t right, said a few odd things and at least one insulting thing to me, and flat out refused to let me pay more than half of the food we ate. I thought she was a nice and interesting enough person, but certainly no sparks on her side of things so I didn’t get too interested.
So right after that I jumped on public transport back to the office and remembered that one of the three girls had asked me to drinks the week before, so feeling crap I sent her a message and asked her to drinks! Normally I’d never try anything this brave, meeting two women I’d not met before in one day is about all the stress this poor fool can take.
Get this, she was literally eating at the place I had just left with the other girl when I sent her the message! Small world. She was still eating and would be an hour at least, but she agreed, and we met up at a tavern at 10:45pm. We had a few drinks and chatted for about an hour, she had a bad cough though and I didn’t want to make her stay too long so I packed up and we went our seperate ways. She is Taiwanese and the language barrier, here for only 6 months, was interesting. There was a lot of nodding and smiling along from both of us haha, that will take some getting use to. At least she is still keen on meting again, so I am sure we will soon… For a real date.
The third date delayed due to flu, it is going around, so I was off the hook there.
It is also worth to note, that I have not met anyone for the first time before where I just go and grab a few drinks with them. Much more relaxing than meeting and going to a full out dinner together. I’m not cheap, just awkward!
This will be easy I thought, no problems, I like a wide range of music and finding songs which explain me and my life would be a piece of cake. Nope! Turns out I was wrong and spent more than a few hours listening to songs while working trying to make this post actually work out haha. I am being a bit picky, not picking the song title or just a single line from a song which fits me, rather I’m trying for songs where the entirety of it hits me on the head.
What also makes it hard is that a metric crap ton of music is all about being in love or broken hearts after love. Both of which I am quite inexperienced at, to have a broken heart you need a chance to have love. Not as easy as I thought, but here goes.
DEF LEPPARD – “Love Bites”
I don’t wanna touch you too much baby
‘Cos making love to you might drive me crazy
I know you think that love is the way you make it
So I don’t wanna be there when you decide to break it
I guess this is a precautionary falling for someone song especially if you’ve been burnt before which I have, example; just when I thought things were going well with a girl I was dating for around two weeks a few years back, she up and ditches me. Why? I am too boring she said, not as exciting as she thought I was(truth hurts). What got me most is she ran back to a guy who beat the crap out of her in the past, more than once. Makes ya feel good. Makes you cautious about the next person you fall for…
JOHNNY CASH – “Before My Time”
I know that hearts were loving
Long before I was here
And I’m not the first to ever cry
In my bed or in my beer
There were songs before there was radio
Of love that stays and love that goes
They were writing meloncholy tunes
And tearful words that rhyme
Before my time
Before my time
This song to me is a great reminder that everything I am experiencing in life has been experienced before, by others, many times over. I think it helps to understand that while names and places might be different, nothing is unique about my problems at all 🙂
Tom Petty – “Two Gunslingers”
Two gunslingers, walked out in the street
And one said “I don’t want to fight no more”
And the other gunslinger thought about it
And he said, “yeah what are we fighting for?”
This is a great song, and exactly how I feel about all of the senseless violence out int he world readily available for observation. A simple realization and coming to terms that what is going down isn’t right and you don’t have to be a part of it!
Papa Roach – “Scars”
I tear my heart open
I sew myself shut
My weakness is
That I care too much
My scars remind us
That the past is real
I tear my heart open
Just to feel
This one is pretty self explanatory!
Alan Jackson – “Here In The Real World”
But here in the real world, it’s not that easy at all
‘Cause when hearts get broken, it’s real tears that fall
And darlin’ it’s sad but true, but the one thing I’ve learned from you
Is how the boy don’t always get the girl, here in the real world
Damn. Country music really has a way of kicking you while you’re down doesn’t it! This song describes the set of circumstances which have lead me to be over cautious to the point of never even bothering to ask anyone out any more lol.
I think that will basically give you all an idea of what I am like, if you were to listen to a set of songs meant to describe me 🙂
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Mix Tape Masterpiece.”
After I wrote my last article, I asked my company because I had a bad feeling if my ex-wife applied for a job here. They said no. Turns out, the HR department was lying to me and my ex-wife has applied for a job at my place of work! I’ve come to the information I need by other means, and we won’t get into that. So I’ve spent all of my time from the last post to this one trying to ensure that she isn’t going to end up working here. So far, so good, they would rather not lose me and I would quit and set-up a legal defence if she tried it again.
She’s also attempting contact through other social media means now in which I have not entertained as of yet but it is looking like I have to in order to put a stop to this. Knowing where I work is bad enough, applying to the same place is bullshit!
Not really anything else happening in my life at the moment, they really need “the most un-interesting man in the world” meme with my face all over it lol.
Ok, so I would never actually punch a kitten. Maybe the wall, but the sentiment you can understand. I left my wife over 12 years ago now and I haven’t had a word or text or phone call with her for any reason since the day I left. Yes, the same ex which stabbed me for masturbating in the shower…
I’ve got a few Twitter accounts for various things, work, gaming, blogging and so on. She made “contact” by following me on my gaming Twitter account. That was problem one, needless to say I didn’t follow back and blocked her @-handle across all of my counts. Then I decided to see how she located me, when I discovered she had begun to follow my friends, and, people I work with!
So I can assume two things, she found me via my work Twitter account and discovered common friends and re-tweets between people that follow both my accounts. God I hope it is that, I’ve just gone to HR though and asked them to check new staff and people currently under evaluation for her name! Then, I will ask HR if they should get in contact with the people she followed that I work with…
This could get really messy. Depends on her mood I guess, although after 12 years, why the hell bother me now?
Yup, a few weeks past 6 months has now gone by for me without any sex. My last bedtime fun was with the South American, only it didn’t turn out really to be any fun at all. Before that, it was over two years. That makes a total of sex, once, in the past three years. Awesome.
I am not involved in any adult dating sites, Tinder included. SeekingArrangement really allowed me to talk to and have a few initial dates with women very easily, but what came next didn’t come so easily or naturally and I wasn’t enjoying guessing at Arrangements so I’m now off SA until further notice. With standard dating sites, 9 out of every 10 attempts at contacting result in an immediate not interested half of which are blocks. The other 1 out of 10 person who accepts seems only interested in chatting never meeting.
Dating without online assistance isn’t an option. I work too much, don’t go out enough on my own or at all with friends. You might think I am the most uninteresting and unattractive person in the world to have this kind of a problem.
And I would probably agree with you at this point, because I’m not quite sure what I’m doing so wrong! Oh well. Keep trying to self improve and don’t give up is all I can do despite feeling like I’m %100 unwanted.