Posts Tagged well-being
“Nobody dies from lack of sex. It’s lack of love we die from.”
E E Cummings
Well hello there everyone, it has been a while since my last post hasn’t it. So so much has… not happened lol, thought I was going in a different direction there? I will endeavour to start posting again, I have had so very little happening in my love life that it honestly hasn’t warranted a post. I suppose that was the danger in creating a blog specifically about love issues. Then again the lack of love issues in fact a love issue, exactly like the quote above from Cummings illustrates.
Instead of dwelling on the fact this moment, that I’ll have been sexless for two years in four days… Lets go in a different direction! Few weeks ago I ended up in the hospital again with severe pain in my side, it felt like a kidney stone or something and I had to hit the ER for some fluid. Little did I know how much I was going to get. They hooked me up to a litre of fluid and handed me three bottles of water for another litre to be taken orally. When all that was done, I had to use the bathroom. Truly. Then they stuck another Litre on me and told me to hold it for an hour…
By the time that was done, I was starting to get worried. 15m later they finally wheeled me down the hall to the ultrasound room and I was ready to get this shit done and my ass into the bathroom. I guess they had different ideas and some of them, for me, included torture. Firstly it must have been intern day, because this very lovley young girl from the university attached to the hospital had a front seat to me with my gown pulled up to my neck, in my undies. Since I am so painfully shy and would dread even going to the beach to take off my shirt; you can imagine how I was feeling at this point!
And then, laying there in pain, embarassed, the russian nurse jams that god damn ultrasound senso into my bladder I thought it was going to be all over. She jabbed that thing around for about 5 mins of pure hell, then brought in yet another woman to see me in my undies. That makes three. They took off into a side room I assume to go have a look at the results. Witht he pain and the piss, I had nearly forgotten about the uni student. I couldnt lay down any more however, I found that it was eaiser to hold it if I sat up, so I did, and looking up when I did she was still there at the end of the bed. She said “Hi” kind of awkwardly, and who can blame her haha. I just wanted to say, Sorry!, but just barely made out a “Hello” back. I never needed a toilet so bad and I had to wait another 5min before I got to use it, I could have kissed the damn thing.
Anyway, I’m totally fine, no big issue and I’m not actually in the hospital every month or anything. This was just the most entertaining thing that happened to me I thought you might all want to read about.
2015 was not a bad year, it could have been better but I can’t complain too much! I didn’t lose any internal organs this year so it has to be good right!? I had a better 2014 though for a few of my personal goals but that just means I need to step up my game in 2016 to catch up.
Work, well work is always fine. I know what I’m doing and I am confident in that area of my life and I’ll always have a job so long as there is a need, which I am guessing will carry on until I’m 70 given how the governments of the world seem keen on ending all help to seniors the scoundrels.
Here are some stats for the year:
Average hours worked per week: 72.8
Weight lost: 5KG (25KG in 2014!)
Average walk distance per day: 2.15 Kilometers / 1.33 Miles
Amount of meat eaten: NONE
Times I was in bed with a woman: 1 😦
Initial sugar dates: 4 – Follow up sugar dates: 1
Non-sugar dates: 3 – Follow up non-sugar dates: 1
My goals for this year are clear to me, I still need to drop another 10-15KG and to do it I need to start spending about two hours a week, or at least 15min per day, in the home gym.
Another very annoying thing that has started to occur recently are some pretty bad skin problems arising from shaving. I’m not exactly sure why or where it comes from, I haven’t changed much of that process in the past few years and I’ve only been getting healthier so what gives? I’ve been thinking about having laser hair removal done on my face to prevent the hair from even growing so I don’t have to shave. I’m in my mid 30s, I don’t need fucking breakouts on top of all the other things I’m still insecure about!
I would also like to spend some time studying, I wouldn’t mind doing some distance courses on writing or planetary sciences, anything I’m interested in and not work related for a change.
As for my personal life where women are concerned, I can’t make any goals there, just have to let it happen naturally. Don’t need to put any more pressure on that aspect of my life on top of what I already have applied!
Hello 2016! Please be kind to us all 🙂
I’ve been dreading this moment for a while, nearly a year it has actually taken me to move my ass to even try it. After losing a satisfactory amount of weight through diet, more than I thought possible without added exercise anyway, it has come to a head and I needed to get to the “gym.” Big deal right? Just do it, no pain no gain, and all that other crap. I have a few things running interference though, one you may find a bit silly and the other is no laughing matter.
Let us just start with the silliness first. Not quite half, but almost half, of the reason I’ve been avoiding going to the gym is my critical lack of self confidence. I don’t want to look like an idiot, I don’t want to be surrounded by hot attractive people(I also say no to the beach), and stupidly enough of all things not even knowing what I should wear to a gym has been a cause of concern. Like I said, pretty silly. I’m working around that though, I’ve just spent a decent amount of money on my own gym equipment and I’ve set one up for myself. There. No worries about other people any longer.
Now comes the hard part, I don’t think I’ve really ever talked about it here before in depth. I have a rather colorful past when it comes to getting physically hurt and damaging myself. I have developed neuropathic pain from one or a sum of these injuries, which aren’t small even when factored individually. I usually know my limits pretty well and I try to look after myself, but I know that I have limits and I understand that I will probably never be able to keep up with someone my own age or younger.
This was very clearly made evident by my first week in the home gym, and does connect to the looking silly part above; Currently I can only do about 15 mins of exercise a day in total and broken up to 5 min sessions. I was hoping for maybe two 30 min sessions to start with but that is way out of reach at the moment. For me, right now, that is my normal and I obviously feel that is just a bit pathetic! Makes me so glad that I didn’t go to the gym, the majority of people don’t understand chronic pain and it would just look ridiculous with me in pain after 5 mins. I’ve been fearing this, I suppose I knew it was coming as I said I do know my limits.
Disappointed or not, I’ve faced it now. The only thing I can do is try to maintain at least the same thing, 5 mins three times a day, and just hope that in some way the persistence of it will allow me to increase my resistance to pain so that I can keep going or help my body in ways where the pain just naturally is less. I wish someone could tell me how it would go, but I guess this is just something I’m going to have to mentally fight for a while.
I was looking forward to the holiday seasons, Oct-Jan, because I should have been looking a bit better now. Instead I’ve skipped every work event since last December and now seemingly have nothing great to look forward to now besides wanting my body to hold out in pain just a little longer on the equipment!
After I wrote my last article, I asked my company because I had a bad feeling if my ex-wife applied for a job here. They said no. Turns out, the HR department was lying to me and my ex-wife has applied for a job at my place of work! I’ve come to the information I need by other means, and we won’t get into that. So I’ve spent all of my time from the last post to this one trying to ensure that she isn’t going to end up working here. So far, so good, they would rather not lose me and I would quit and set-up a legal defence if she tried it again.
She’s also attempting contact through other social media means now in which I have not entertained as of yet but it is looking like I have to in order to put a stop to this. Knowing where I work is bad enough, applying to the same place is bullshit!
Not really anything else happening in my life at the moment, they really need “the most un-interesting man in the world” meme with my face all over it lol.
Ok, so I would never actually punch a kitten. Maybe the wall, but the sentiment you can understand. I left my wife over 12 years ago now and I haven’t had a word or text or phone call with her for any reason since the day I left. Yes, the same ex which stabbed me for masturbating in the shower…
I’ve got a few Twitter accounts for various things, work, gaming, blogging and so on. She made “contact” by following me on my gaming Twitter account. That was problem one, needless to say I didn’t follow back and blocked her @-handle across all of my counts. Then I decided to see how she located me, when I discovered she had begun to follow my friends, and, people I work with!
So I can assume two things, she found me via my work Twitter account and discovered common friends and re-tweets between people that follow both my accounts. God I hope it is that, I’ve just gone to HR though and asked them to check new staff and people currently under evaluation for her name! Then, I will ask HR if they should get in contact with the people she followed that I work with…
This could get really messy. Depends on her mood I guess, although after 12 years, why the hell bother me now?
Yup, a few weeks past 6 months has now gone by for me without any sex. My last bedtime fun was with the South American, only it didn’t turn out really to be any fun at all. Before that, it was over two years. That makes a total of sex, once, in the past three years. Awesome.
I am not involved in any adult dating sites, Tinder included. SeekingArrangement really allowed me to talk to and have a few initial dates with women very easily, but what came next didn’t come so easily or naturally and I wasn’t enjoying guessing at Arrangements so I’m now off SA until further notice. With standard dating sites, 9 out of every 10 attempts at contacting result in an immediate not interested half of which are blocks. The other 1 out of 10 person who accepts seems only interested in chatting never meeting.
Dating without online assistance isn’t an option. I work too much, don’t go out enough on my own or at all with friends. You might think I am the most uninteresting and unattractive person in the world to have this kind of a problem.
And I would probably agree with you at this point, because I’m not quite sure what I’m doing so wrong! Oh well. Keep trying to self improve and don’t give up is all I can do despite feeling like I’m %100 unwanted.
Ok so I’m not exactly doing whatever that girl in the picture is doing… Wtf is she doing by the way? I. Don’t. Even. But, I just had my second session!
It is still pretty easy going, all instructional, trying out the different things while the instructor gets to know me and where my issues are. I was kind of freaked out this time, I expected the place to be empty as it was a one-on-one. But it wasn’t. There were a few people there and I have total fear of looking like I don’t know what I’m doing! Anyway, had to get over it, have to get over it.
I’m not quite into the feeling good stage yet, not doing anything really taxing. Actually that is probably for the best, because I’ve got some decent pain after the session. Mind you this is exactly why I’m doing Pilates! Hope it works out!