The Universe Is Infinite – But This World Is Small

 

The world feels small tonight. For the past four or five days I’ve been speaking with someone on SA, as soon as I saw her picture I felt something. I didn’t have any idea what it was really but it felt like I was already connected to her in some way. So I continued to chat with her. She is a very nice young girl, or at least her profile indicates…

Yesterday she asked for personal contact details and stated a desire to meet outside of the confines and arrangements of SA itself. I’m not quite sure if that was a test or not, in any case we exchanged E-Mails today and it still leaves me with a very interesting feeling of having a connection to her. There is someone from my past which she does remind me of, but it can’t be her. Not with the age she has listed on SA in any case..

I’m getting all sorts of weird vibes from her. Even though I may not continue with SA, the desire to speak with my mystery woman continues to grow… I want to see how this turns out, I’m going to have to meet this one and figure it out!

Second Sugar Date – Strike Two

Sugar Date #2

Well I think you can tell where I am going with this already! I’ve just returned from my second sugar date, and it didn’t go that well at all. So far, the only common denominator is myself, so I’m going to need to figure out what I’m doing wrong and put an end to that!

We caught up together at a place we both knew how to get to, and then walked by foot up to the place for lunch. I’m glad I picked it, it was one of the most impressive places I’ve ever eaten at! As impressive was everything else, view, menu, $$ lol, service, and company.

I got the distinct feeling on the date that she wasn’t really interested, this could be for any number of reasons, and plenty of body language to support my claim. I didn’t give up though, I tried my best to make small talk and be interesting and all but was still sure she was happy with the place and the food at least.

I may just be terribly boring really! One of the areas where I’m not like most men, I’m not completely full of shit and I don’t embellish everything I’ve ever done. I’ve done quite a bit personally actually, but I have a hard time telling the “story” and making it sound interesting. I’m just not a great salesman 🙂 In any case, I think I know how this is going to go, I don’t think I will continue my journey as a SD just now. I think I have quite a bit more work to do on myself first, I’m not happy enough with me. I may return to SA as a SD later after that if I can accomplish it. I’ve priced up my home gym, and that will run me about 12k so I think that is where I’ll be spending my time and money for a while!

Sugar Date: The Next Generation

 

Well, following up my seemingly not so great first SD on Monday, I’ve booked in another date for Saturday. This is with the Au Pair whom I have mentioned before. She seems like a very nice girl and I get along with her quite well from the messages we’ve exchanged thus far. She seems more talkative than my first SD, and I get an all around general better feeling about her so far. Wish full thinking? We’ll see!

There is another… I’ll call her Spammy, inside joke, she responded to me about three weeks late. She apologized for the late reply and said she didn’t like the site, however she liked my message to her and my profile and asked for my number in short order 🙂 So far I do like Spammy the best. But she is, well, hot which I didn’t know because she had no public pictures. I did warn her and send her the pictures of myself, to which she replied “What are you talking about you goose! You are handsome :)”

My mind flicked straight to “bullshit” as that is what I think when anyone says that kind of stuff to me. I just thanked her for the compliment, and she re-affirmed it and said “You have extremely kind eyes :)” That is a new one, I’ve not had that before. Is that code for, you aren’t really hot but I can look at you? lol.

Well I’m actually chatting with her right now via SMS –  I had to buy a new belt today because I just broke my old one trying to pull it tight to the last belt hole! I’ve been doing that for a while now and it just gave way this morning. I wanted to tell someone the good news, she said that was great and that I must be happy, that getting a new belt due to size may not seem like a lot to most but is a huge deal. She also said that she was sure that some days that I probably feel the same old size, which surprised me because that is kind of how I feel every day lol.

I said she was right, even though I can see it in the clothes and on the scale, I can’t really see it in the mirror and my face is still so annoyingly fucking chubby! She replied with “I doubt that handsome… You are your toughest critic by far!” – I can’t argue with her there, but I’m a critic of me for good reasons. I’ve had a crap ton of negative feedback from girls, and it has conditioned my brain to be very cautious!

Anyway, I’m trying not to be so down on myself these days and focusing the energy on being positive and doing something about the reasons I feel negative! My first Pilates group session was today and despite being terribly embarrassed about gyming in front of others, especially with those damn suggestive Pilates positions, I didn’t die and made it through the other side. I’m only doing them once a week at the moment, but want to increase that. I want to move faster!

 

 

First Sugar Date Completed

But No Chemistry?

I had my very first sugar date yesterday with the Nutritionist. We met just outside the venue, an “upmarket” Japanese restaurant, and right away I was struck by how tall she was! I had to go back to her SA profile after the date to check to see if I missed something obvious, I didn’t because her height wasn’t listed. I would say even without her shoes, she would have been at least my height at 5’11” – with her shoes, she was a good two inches over me. I know women aren’t fond of short men, so immediately I was put off because I felt she would have been put off. That is just how I work, not sure if accurate. If I had seen her height on her profile, I most likely wouldn’t have even sent her a message, but don’t get me wrong, I think tall women are gorgeous and there is nothing wrong with them from my perspective!

We had our greetings, made our way to be seated and walked the length of the restaurant. A lot, no understatement, of heads turned watching a tall gorgeous blonde walk through. I feel guilty about feeling bad about this, but because standing next to her people must have been; WTF? I felt bad because she was with me, an average guy. I feel guilty about feeling bad because it isn’t her fault for being very healthy and attractive or even tall, I don’t want to place the blame for this on her or anything. We sat down, I handed her a card with what I hoped was decent for a first sugar date, $300 in this case, and she thanked me.

In any case, as usual and due to the fact that we were ordering as Vegans there was some lengthy ordering to be done. Asking what things were made from and what they were, you know, annoying shit us Vegans do! The food was great though, and she was too. Conversation was mostly about health and topics related to that, some from my past as she seemed interested in certain parts of it. Getting people’s stories is pretty closely related to her work, so she was pretty good at getting the information out of me haha.

The date was from 7 till 9 at the restaurant, I did have to go back to work anyway so that made it easy not to get confused about what or even if anything more would have been on the cards for the night. In any case I didn’t really feel the insert your own shitty cliché with her on this date, so I am sure it ended right as she would have wanted it to. Paid for the dinner, left a good tip, walked her to the parking station and paid for her parking and said our goodbyes.

I’m pretty disappointed! I suppose you can’t hit a home run on your first try, but I didn’t expect to go to the ball park and then not be able to play the game haha. I guess I just felt like it was over before it started on this first SD. Shit!

Incoming Sugar Date

 

My very first sugar date has been booked in! Next Monday. She is five years older than I am, very nice and patient to speak with, a nutritionist, vegan like I am now, and quite attractive. More attractive than I am comfortable being around, that might be good, maybe it will get me over shyness about that sort of thing? I don’t know, suppose we will find out in time.

 

The Date

I’m taking her to one of the better Japanese restaurants in town, might as well start off on a good foot right, for a nice vegan dinner(and only dinner). She was worried at first being a vegan but when I let her know I was also she was quite happy. Agreeing on food and location and the will to both go out together was the very easy part. The very hard part now comes; she has left it to me to determine what I feel is an appropriate arrangement for a dinner date.

 

The Initial Arrangement

I grew up in a pretty remote place, and I grew up in a culture where the last thing anyone ever does is talk about money. How much you get paid isn’t known, how much you paid for a car or your house is never even asked. Not like where I am now at all, nothing is sacred! This makes talking about money difficult for me personally, like I don’t even want to tell any readers here what I had in mind for an arrangement/ongoing arrangements. I am not exactly sure what I will do just yet, in the end, I just really hope I don’t offend her!

 

The Others

 

The Au Pair

There is another nice girl I’ve been speaking to, she looks after someone else’s kids as a live-in arrangement. I will be taking her out soon also, but I just need to find the time which isn’t so easy! I am thinking at some point next week also, not sure yet! She is around 10 years younger than I am and a very nice person.

 

The Artist

Maybe a bit too young for me at around 15 years younger, still out of her teens though, she has very cute qualities and is also quite a nice person. I’m still making up my mind with her, It seems like she wishes arrangements to go straight into intimate areas so that she can ask for a bit more. It isn’t asking a bit more I have an issue with, but jumping straight into bed with someone so intimidating. But she is persistent and I do like her 🙂

 

So I am excited and terrified about my date with the Nutritionist! Then, in the middle of working on at least one more date to check everything out. I’m certainly in over my head, but the options are quite simple; sink or swim.

SeekingArrangement 72hr Debrief

 

In one word; overwhelmed. I’m just an average, at best, looking guy with a moderate amount of money and I’m speaking with so many people it is getting overwhelming. I could only imagine what women on that site have to go through, it must take friggin ages!

Some things I have learned:

1. Learning Curve & Closing the Deal

I’ve not had a lot of interaction with women period, let alone any talking with them so candidly and upfront about Arrangements. It does feel strange! I need to learn how to say what and when, though I think I’m catching on O.K. I am still having issues closing the deal though, I’m just so unsure of everything haha.

 

2. Small Fish

It is clearly a big ocean out there, and there is always a better offer than what I can give. Though the girls there still seem to be willing to chat with me regardless about things which is cool. Some of the things they get offered are amazing, and I can’t compete! I will just have to find a way to accept that and try to find a good match.

 

3. Pic Block

So now that I have been on a bit longer, it is pretty clear that the ignores can still come after sending your pictures. Though the rate that people block and ignore me after pictures on other sites is about 75%, over on SA it is probably only around 10% which is a significant difference.

 

4. Non-sexual Arrangements

Some girls ask straight out if sex is going to be involved, some hint at it. I’d really like to meet someone to even see if there is a connection, I realize this isn’t a dating service and I’m still going to sugar the hell out of them, but I can’t jump straight into sex. It is something I need to work up to. Most girls get kind of excited I think when I say it is non-sexual or at least it is non-sexual until and if they wanted to move that part of it forward, but I have come across a few who frown upon it because they think it wouldn’t be worth their while otherwise. They are the minority though.

 

5. Awesome People

There are a lot of awesome girls out there, I am quite impressed with some of them, their attitudes towards life, health, and the fact that they can run circles around me on SA is pretty funny since I still am learning lol.

 

6. Mentor

Lots of, probably over half, state and are actually looking for someone to mentor them with work and life and what not. I’m still kind of young-ish and I’m far far less experienced with dating and the bedroom than any of these people are out there. Not only that but my profession is rather specific and very specialized. I don’t think I’m ever going to meet anyone on SA I could coach or put in contact with the networking. This it seems is where I will fall short most of the time, if not on the scale of attraction first.

 

Well that is it for now, just thought I would summarize those things which are probably pretty obvious to most 🙂